On November 23rd, we were in Delhi to attend the wedding of the daughter of two close friends. We arrived at the venue on time and were delighted to reconnect with familiar faces. As we exchanged greetings, the bride’s father suggested to my husband that he should have a ‘safa’ tied. The safa, a traditional Indian wedding turban—is a long piece of cloth elegantly wrapped around the head.
I watched as my husband sat on a chair, and a young man began the intricate process of tying the safa. In the meantime, I saw the bride’s mother, walked over to congratulate her, and we shared a few pleasantries. A few minutes later, I decided to return to my husband. But when I looked at the chair, another man was sitting there, and confusion struck me.
The tying process couldn’t have been completed so quickly, and yet, my husband was nowhere to be seen. Scanning the hall, I couldn’t locate him. Then, my gaze returned to the man on the chair, and to my surprise, it was indeed my husband. Yet, he looked so different. As I locked eyes with him, I felt an inexplicable pull—a wave of recognition—and in an instant, I was transported into another lifetime.
A Spontaneous Recall
Since beginning my journey with past-life regression therapy in 2008, I have been blessed with the ability of spontaneous recall. In certain places or with certain people, glimpses of my past lives arise unbidden, like faint memories returning to consciousness. That evening, standing in the wedding hall, I was overcome by one such vision.
I saw a life we had shared in North India, possibly Rajasthan. He was my husband then too—a prominent man, perhaps a merchant or someone in the king’s court. As the vision unfolded, vivid scenes began to take shape in my inner mind.
I saw him arriving home late at night, handing me his turban. I, dressed in a sari with my head modestly covered, welcomed him, offering water and then serving dinner. I sat beside him, fanning him as he ate. Later, as he lay down to rest, I massaged his feet, easing the day’s strain so he could sleep soundly.
The Emotional Aspect
While the scenes themselves were familiar—stories we’ve read or watched in movies—the emotional experience they carried was overwhelming. I felt, with raw intensity, the emotions of that lifetime. There was fear and reverence for my husband but no sense of individuality, no identity of my own. I was simply “the wife of so-and-so.”
What struck me most was the absence of love as I understand it in this lifetime. Instead, I felt a deep anxiety: “What if something happens to him? If he dies, what will become of me?” My very existence revolved around his survival.
Women as Inferior Beings
In that life, girls were raised with the singular purpose of becoming good wives. Women were considered inferior beings, subservient and dependent. This conditioning was ingrained so deeply that it shaped every thought, every action. As I relived those moments, the weight of those emotions became almost unbearable.
For the remainder of the wedding, I avoided eye contact with my husband. It wasn’t until the safa was removed that the intense memories subsided, and I felt grounded in the present once more.
